Pete Alonso Almost Annihilated A Group Of People Sitting In The Upper Deck Of Target Field When He Hit A 474-Foot BOMB
Nothing like getting a couple of tickets in the cheap seats all the way in St. Paul to take in a Twins game so you can make some small talk while watching the old ballgame in order to save a few bucks and not having to worry about pesky foul balls or home runs. However, the next thing you know, Pete Alonso gets ahold of one and almost takes out you and everyone you love with a fucking cock rocket from hell. This guy knows what I’m talking about.
I guess we can stop any talk of the Home Run Derby ruining ManBearPete’s swing. Pete saw Cousin Derek uncork the filthiest pitches seen in the Major Leagues season and is now ready for anything a Major League pitcher can throw him. Not only that, but Alonso can not take those pitchers paid to get him out for a ride further than anything he did during an exhibition.
Once that moonshot was hit, the Twins spirits were broken and the white flag was later raised.
No word if this Empire State Building-level coward switched back to a Mets hat after Alonso’s bomb.
I should also use this blog as a subtle reminder that Pete Alonso is at the top of The Sheffield List, which is the list of players you have to be alert for a potential batted ball the minute you arrive in the zip code of the stadium until the minute you leave. It doesn’t matter if you are down the line, in the upper deck, or in the parking lot before or after the game. If Pete Alonso’s name is in the lineup card, your head better be on a swivel because there are no safe spaces. So if you are looking to save money when going to a game, pass on the upper deck seats and instead go to Seatgeek and enter promo code PODFATHERS (all one word) at checkout.
And for those wondering if the Mets sweeping the AL Central leading Twins in a 2-game sweep (you are welcome Tate) and winning 4 in a row means anything or makes me want to uncuncel, the answer is no. If anything, it just makes me angrier that the Mets don’t have an actual good team around Alonso, McNeil, deGrom, Big Dick Dom, and the 3 or so other Major League players on the roster considering they play in a big market in a sport without a salary cap. I guess Mets fans can’t be choosers though.